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The Sabbatical Evolution

Taking a sabbatical can bring up a plethora of emotional responses. Oh boy oh boy can they, and have they. Can you relate to any of these ten feelings?

  • Guilt, for not being "financially productive"...particularly for those of us who have been the primary breadwinners in our relationships, and throughout most of our lives.

  • Fear, for not having all the solutions at our fingertips.

  • Gratitude, for being able to take a sabbatical in the first place.

  • Zen, for the opportunity to slow down and be mindful, to appreciate the beauty of the "small" things that in the normal pace would often have been missed...and are not as small as they might have initially seemed.

  • Anger, for the events beyond our control that led us to where we are today, for not knowing what will happen next.

  • Excitement, for the new chapter that has not yet completely revealed itself...but is beginning to unfold.

  • Anxiety, for the self-doubt that can creep in and tell us we don't have a fucking clue and are jumping off that precipice too soon.

  • Happiness, for all of the things above that go on, and being at peace knowing that I'm doing what's best for my mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and even financial health.

  • Entitlement, after working my ass off for decades and battled some serious sh*t to stay afloat - knowing that this Sabbatical I have chosen is what I deserve. To those of us who stared down trauma and still get up each day to breathe in and out, I see you.

  • Trust, for looking at this evolution and knowing this path, no matter how alien it feels, is leading to something brilliant.

This year I took off was worth its weight in gold. We made the changes needed to live in a house with no mortgage. I fought the monsters of depression and am coming out on top. And now I'm looking at this life in a new way, using the plethora of lessons from my first five decades on this planet and integrating them into my words, while planning the next journey. The biggest wisdom I can share to anyone, of any age, is this:

”The decision to go into debt alters the course and condition of your life. You no longer own it. You are owned.” – Dave Ramsey

It may not be as come-down-from-the-heavens inspirational as something Maya Angelou or Brene Brown or Thoreau may have spoken, but it speaks so much truth as to how much we allow ourselves in our lives, and how many tradeoffs we make to have what others say we should want. We want to be loved, we want to feel safe, and we want to have peace. Letting go of the 'stuff' that doesn't truly provide that? It changes everything.

The evolution is so damn real, y'all.


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